
Live the Life of Your Dreams
Do you remember when you first heard the statement that “The Law is a Jealous Mistress?” I do.
I was sitting in Contracts at the University Of Tennessee School Of Law. I had Professor Cook who was an outstanding teacher and an equally generous taskmaster. We were nearing the end of the quarter (back in the old days schools were on quarters rather than semesters) and exams were approaching. We were sitting around waiting on Cook to arrive and the talk turned to the evening games. No, not the basketball games; the games down on the strip at the favorite watering hole.
I remember saying, “No, I’ve got to study.” I did a lot of that in law school. They told us at orientation that 1/3 of us would not graduate. I didn’t want to be in the one-third. One of the guys in the group, after hearing of my plans for the evening, said the words, words I’ve repeated both orally and internally hundreds of times, “The Law is a Jealous Mistress?”
Fast forward to my first job as an attorney. I heard it again and repeated it to myself.
While most of us would not seriously consider having a “mistress”, it’s pretty easy to let the “law” serve that function. I tell folks that the “law” will take as much of you as you are willing to give. However, you are in control. You are the decider; but you have to decide.
So here are 3 tips to avoid if you don’t want the “law” to be the jealous mistress of your life.
1. Recognize That Limits are Needed. Make sure that you acknowledge to yourself and to others that limits to the intrusion of the “law” into your life are necessary if you are to enjoy the life of your dreams. OK, I’ve said it. It’s OK to set limits. No it’s up to you. Your partners, your mentors, your associates and your clients only have one thing on their mind when they call you: whatever is on their mind. They aren’t thinking about your daughter’s birthday party. They aren’t thinking about the soapbox derby race on Saturday. They are thinking about whatever task, problem or challenge is on their mind. So it’s up to you. Right now make a decision (several actually). Decide that it’s OK for your career to say no from time to time. Decide to make your law practice a priority when you are working but only a secondary priority when not at work. Now, have the guts to say “No.” Be sure to use your loving voice, “I’d love to help you with that, but I’m already committed.”
2. Create a Life Plan First. Create a plan for your person life before you create a plan for your business (that includes the law) life. One of the biggest regrets people make is that they life their lives in whatever time’s left. This occurs usually due to the unwillingness to spend the time necessary to think through what you want your life to look like. Lawyers are generally a pretty smart bunch. However, it happens to us just as well. Why? Because it’s just easier to live life with “what’s left” rather than developing a plan for your life, then develop a business to support it. Remember that one of the reasons you choose “lawyering” as a livelihood is so you could provide a great life for you and your family. That’s going to take work and not just work at work! Take a day off this week. Turn the phones off, (your blackberry too) and spend some time thinking about this question: “If I could design my life to be anything I want it to be, what would it look like?” Be bold with the answers but be truthful to yourself. It will be better if you write with a pen (rather than a computer) as you are doing this exercise. Then once you have painted a picture of your life “designed by you” consider “what do I have to do to have this life.” You are going to be called upon to make a number of decisions, including decisions on what your individual priorities will be. Now go backwards. If this is what I want my life to be, what does this year have to look like, this month…. Be sure to date your life plan. You’ll return to it often.
3. Engage Your Partner in Your Plan. My wife says she never knows what I’m thinking. That’s pretty strange given the fact that she expects me to always know what she’s thinking. Seriously though, if you are building a life with another person, let them in on your plan. I always recommend doing step No. 2 above by yourself. This way you’ll have the freedom to be honest. Only after you’ve designed the life of your dreams can you then share it with your life partner and together perhaps you both can build a plan that blends both of your desires and dreams. This is super, super important for a number of reasons. First, be sure that you are both traveling along the same path. Recognize that some compromises are often required by both of you. That’s what building a life together is all about. Second, you’ll have to make priority decisions that may impact your finances and often your career. Be sure you are both together on them. Finally, when the mountain gets tall or the valley gets deep, you’re going to need your partner to be at your side not in back of you or even in front of you.
These are just three tips to help you get started.
While I agree that “The Law is a Jealous Mistress,” I’m likewise convinced that you don’t have to have a mistress unless you live life by default rather than design.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please comment below.
Perhaps you have a friend or cohort that might need to consider this topic. If so, please pass the post along.
Talk soon,
Dan
Image Credit: bjorkish
So you’ve done your marketing. Perhaps driven great web traffic; perhaps a referral is at the door; or perhaps you sitting across from a person you’ve represented before.
So what are you going to ask? When are you going to ask it? How are you going to ask it?

As lawyers we are pretty much trained to think in a linear fashion. One event follows another. Have you noticed that non-lawyers don’t always think that way. Sometimes I’m meeting with clients and I think they’ve got what we called as kids “Mexican Jumping Beans” in the brain. Darting here and there, from topic to topic, actor to actor, without any rationale connection.
It is certainly part of your job to manage the conversation so that you can acquire the information necessary to identify the legal issues and/or problems. How are you going to do that?
Do you “begin with the end in mind” as Stephen Covey is so often promoting? Do you have a plan at all?
I began this with a series of questions because they cause me to think about the way I handle an initial meeting with a prospect. There are at least three key issues you’ve got to address in that very first meeting.
1. Can you trust me with your legal needs. Too often we think because we have nice offices or a great receptionist this part of the equation has already been met. Believe me we needn’t think too much of ourselves here. The person sitting across from you has on their mind the most important legal issue of the century (to them). You see it’s the most important because it’s probably the only one they are dealing with right now. They’ve got to decide for themselves in the first meeting: “Can I entrust my legal problem with this particular lawyer.” So how will you answer this (usually non-verbalized) question?
2. Can I achieve what you want? There’s just way too many lawyer shows on television. Look, I love Denny Crane as much as the next guy, but let’s get serious. It’s pretty difficult to resolve the legal problems of our clients the way they are resolved on television. BUT, this may be the only picture of conflict resolution your prospective client has seen or understands. Don’t leave that initial meeting without understanding what the client wants and whether you can actually achieve it. Naturally, most clients begin with expectations that simply can’t be satisfied. For example, if you ask a person charged with burglary, “What would be the ideal result you’d want me to achieve for you?” The answer most likely is, “I’d like all this to go away and disappear.” You and I may think that is unreasonable, but Denny Crane makes that happen in less than an hour (after considering commercials). Get real about what you can do to help. Now is the time to set reasonable expectations, not when you’ve got a big bill you’re trying to get paid.
3. Can you afford to pay me to help you? I’ve never understood why lawyers are so fearful about talking about money with clients. Yet, time and time again, we hear complaints that the client never knew how the attorney was to get paid. That’s our fault. We’ve got to treat our practice like a business and not a hobby. Have you noticed that in order to get out of the doctor’s office you’ve got to go directly by (and stop) at a payment/billing window? Why is that? Now I don’t suggest that we imitate the doctors on this one. We should do better. Let’s get the money issues out of the way at the outset. It will make your relationship much simpler and will most likely reduce the number of conflicts you have with otherwise well served clients.
On each of these questions, think in advance about how you are going to address them in the initial conference. A little advance planning will go a long way to insuring your retention, a good client experience and payment sufficient to keep the lights on.

U.S. District Judge Martin L.C. Feldman ruled yesterday that the 6 month moratorium on deep water drilling in the gulf will likely to be proved to be “arbitrary and capriciously issued.”
Regardless of where you are on the political spectrum the opinion offers and interesting analysis of what the United States Government took into account (or didn’t) when it decided to halt all drilling in wells any deeper than 500 feet.
Here is a complete copy of the opinion (thanks Wall Street Journal).
Judge Feldman who is a Tulane Law grad, poses this question: “If some drilling equipment parts are flawed, is it rational to say all are? Are all airplanes a danger because one was? All oil tankers like Exxon Valdez? Al trains? All mines?” Seems to be a reasonable question.
After considering all that was before him, including the report you’ve heard so much about that might have be “supplemented” after the scientists signed it, Judge Feldman granted the Plaintiffs a preliminary injunction against the enforcement of the moratorium. The opinion is definitely worth the read.
No doubt this will not be the last we hear on this ruling.
Photo Credit photo240779
